Dear hipsters moving into my neighborhood and doing everything possible to get people to look at you for the most idiotic crap,
It takes longer to get on this bike than it does for you to ride to your destination.
Sincerely,
Josh
Dear hipsters moving into my neighborhood and doing everything possible to get people to look at you for the most idiotic crap,
It takes longer to get on this bike than it does for you to ride to your destination.
Sincerely,
Josh
Dear gasstation on Route 23 in New Jersey who is selling two sizes of Wish Bone Thousand Island dressing next to the refried beans,
I think one size would have been enough.
Sincerely,
Josh
Dear women seeing this truck and thinking immediately, “this is my way out the ghetto”,
It’s not.
Sincerely,
Josh

Dear man on a motorcycle slowing down traffic because you have your monthly groceries on your handlebars,
Please do not fall in front of me and die, I’m already late enough.
Sincerely,
Josh

Dear men and women going on Maury to determine who the father of the baby is,
Don’t act so confident before the results are in. You might end up doing the backstage run of shame.
Sincerely,
Josh

Dear girls going out and getting so drunk that you take off your shoes and walk through the streets of NYC barefoot,
I hope you’re walking to the hospital, because you’re going to need it.
Sincerely,
Josh

Dear on-duty police officer going into Best Buy to get that last minute holiday shopping done while carrying a gun and talking on the phone,
I’m sure somewhere someone is getting robbed while you buy that XBOX 360.
Sincerely,
Josh

Dear former Presidential hopeful who expected to win the GOP nomination despite having more hoes in his past than Groundskeeper Willie,
You should have read Iceberg Slim’s book.
Sincerely,
Josh

Dear guy parked in the Walmart parking lot who spent a couple hundred on a spoiler for your 1996 Honda Civic in order to look like your car should be in the Fast and the Furious 6,
At least buy the right color spoiler.
Sincerely,
Josh

Dear Atlanta Falcons players who are upset and crying because Ndamukong Suh of the Lions trash talked during a game which the Falcons actually WON,
You do realize you’re playing a game with grown men, right?
Sincerely,
Josh