To Whom It May Concern

Dear girls going out and getting so drunk that you take off your shoes and walk through the streets of NYC barefoot,

I hope your walking to the hospital, because you’re going to need it. 

Sincerely,
Josh 

Dear on-duty police officer going into Best Buy to get that last  minute holiday shopping done while carrying a gun and talking on the phone,

I’m sure somewhere someone is getting robbed while you buy that XBOX 360. 

Sincerely,
Josh 

Dear former Presidential hopeful who expected to win the GOP nomination despite having more hoes in his past than Groundskeeper Willie,

You should have read Iceberg Slim’s book. 

Sincerely,
Josh 

Dear guy parked in the Walmart parking lot who spent a couple hundred on a spoiler for your 1996 Honda Civic in order to look like your car should be in the Fast and the Furious 6,

At least buy the right color spoiler.

Sincerely,
Josh 

Dear Atlanta Falcons players who are upset and crying because Ndamukong Suh of the Lions trash talked during a game which the Falcons actually WON,

You do realize you’re playing a game with grown men, right?

Sincerely,
Josh

Dear butch looking lesbian woman who seemed to be doing everything you could to look “manly” who got a bit angry at me because I mistakenly referred to you using male pronouns before I was introduced to you,

I think my mistake was a testament to your commitment. 

Sincerely,
Josh 

Dear dude taking a huge dump at the gym but is still managing to talk on the phone to your “lady friend”,

You nasty. For real. 

Sincerely,
Josh 

Dear people who actually would buy a Hallmark card for $3.49 to give to someone who just lost their job and is worrying about rent and food,

Instead, just give them the $3.49.

Sincerely,
Josh 

Dear Maxine Waters, who is now complaining about how Obama talked to the CBC saying it’s time to stop complaining and work,

You know complaining because Obama said you complain and you feel you don’t, really is proving his point. 

Sincerely,
Josh